Founders Dirty Bastard: A poor study aid

On the off chance that I decide to hang around academia after I graduate in May, instead of heading back to the real world, I’m taking the GRE this week. While it’s apparently common to spend a few months studying for this thing, I registered for it 2 weeks ago and the extent of my preparation has so far consisted of buying a study guide.

With 2 days until the exam, I thought it might be time to crack open that study guide. Naturally, I assumed that a delicious beverage would be a helpful aid to the learning process. When I conked after 20 minutes of studying, however, I realized that an 8.5% Scotch Ale was perhaps an unwise choice. Let this be a lesson, dear readers: while Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Style Ale is pretty fantastic, it is a rather poor study aid.

Located in Grand Rapids, MI, Founders is well-known for its line-up of heavy-hitting, eccentric ales. Shockingly, I have experience with very few of them, including this fine Scotch-style specimen. Like any good Scotch Ale, Dirty Bastard is dense and malty, with a notable whiff of alcohol on the pour. Standing above the crowd, however, Dirty Bastard lacks the unpleasant (in my opinion) syrupy sweetness that plagues many Scotch Ales and features pleasantly subtle notes of smoke and peat. The facts: