Founders Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Breakfast Stout


Founders Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Breakfast Stout: Thanks, boss!

I had every intention of remedying the unfortunate beer inventory situation today, but yet another round of sloppy, irksome winter weather mangled my precisely-timed travel plans, landing me at my beverage emporium of choice several hours after the accursed 9pm deadline. This tragic turn of events threatened to rain doom upon Brew du Jour, nearly ending my impeccable streak of daily beer consumption. Fortunately, failure was averted due to the heroic efforts of my benevolent boss.

I’ve mentioned previously that I have 3ish jobs, all of which I adore partly because of some great bosses. Today, one of these exceptional supervisors saved the day by leaving a lovely potable gift in the office fridge for me. Of course, retrieving said gift involved a frantic midnight expedition through the snow that nearly resulted in a run-in with a metro bus. Luckily, all parties survived the trip and daily tasting responsibilities were fulfilled.

Noting my affinity for Founders beers, the boss gifted me a Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Breakfast Stout. As its name implies, this is a potent concoction brimming with intense flavors and aromas. On the pour, whiffs of coffee and chocolate mixed with distinctly grainy notes emanate from this dark, viscous liquid. The flavor is mainly roasted chocolate, but a decidedly coffee-like acidity becomes apparent on the finish. While Breakfast Stout is impressive, it’s a bit too sweet and chocolatey for my taste. In the extravagant dark beer category, I much prefer Founders Porter, which offers a bit more balance and subtlety. The facts:

Founders Double Chocolate Coffee Oatmeal Breakfast Stout

Style: Stout
Availability: Seasonal (winter)
ABV: 8.3%
Hops: Not Specified
Notes: Intensely sweet and chocolatey, with coffee-like acidity on the finish.
More Info:
My Take: Impressive, but to sweet for my taste. I’ll stick with the Porter .

Founders Porter


Founders Porter: This photo is abominable, but the beer is amazing.

Dark, rich, and sexy. Don’t get your knickers in a twist; we’re still talking about beer, here (although, you’d be correct in assuming that I’m often described similarly, except that the adjectives involved are more typically “pasty, cheap, and awkward”). That’s the tag line on the label of today’s selection, a Porter from the fine folks at Founders, which, as it turns out, is a pretty apt synopsis.

I enjoyed Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale so much that I couldn’t resist an opportunity to check out another another offering from this venerable Grand Rapids, MI brewery. As I alluded to in the Dirty Bastard post, Founders specializes in the brewing of relatively “big” beers – heady potions with high alcohol content, substantial body, and robust flavors – so I was fairly confident that this Porter would not disappoint.

Far from disappointing, Founders Porter might be made of magic. On the pour, heavy aromas of chocolate and coffee emanate from this alluringly dark, dense liquid. Rich roasted chocolate flavors, combined with a soft, velvety texture, and a hint of bitnerness at the finish result in a luxurious elixir that might best be described as voluptuous. In fact, just drinking it feels a little scandalous. Dark, rich and sexy, indeed.

Founders Porter

Style: Porter
Availability: Year-round
ABV: 6.5%
Hops: Not Specified
Notes: Strong chocolate aroma; bold roasted chocolate flavor; amazing velvety mouthfeel
More Info:
My Take: Pasty, cheap, and awkward agrees that this is dark, rich, and sexy.

Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Ale

Founders Dirty Bastard

Founders Dirty Bastard: A poor study aid

On the off chance that I decide to hang around academia after I graduate in May, instead of heading back to the real world, I’m taking the GRE this week. While it’s apparently common to spend a few months studying for this thing, I registered for it 2 weeks ago and the extent of my preparation has so far consisted of buying a study guide.

With 2 days until the exam, I thought it might be time to crack open that study guide. Naturally, I assumed that a delicious beverage would be a helpful aid to the learning process. When I conked after 20 minutes of studying, however, I realized that an 8.5% Scotch Ale was perhaps an unwise choice. Let this be a lesson, dear readers: while Founders Dirty Bastard Scotch Style Ale is pretty fantastic, it is a rather poor study aid.

Located in Grand Rapids, MI, Founders is well-known for its line-up of heavy-hitting, eccentric ales. Shockingly, I have experience with very few of them, including this fine Scotch-style specimen. Like any good Scotch Ale, Dirty Bastard is dense and malty, with a notable whiff of alcohol on the pour. Standing above the crowd, however, Dirty Bastard lacks the unpleasant (in my opinion) syrupy sweetness that plagues many Scotch Ales and features pleasantly subtle notes of smoke and peat. The facts:

Founders Brewing Co. Dirty Bastard

Style: Scotch Ale
Availability: Year-round
ABV: 8.5%
Hops: Not specified
Notes: Dark and malty, but not too sweet. Hints of smoke/peat at the finish.
More Info:
My Take: Stellar example of a Scotch Ale done right. May I have another?