Mount Brew-suvio
Holy flaming fright. While it would be foolish to expect anything good from a beer “brewed with popcorn and butter,” I could not have predicted how unspeakably dreadful this would be. Concocted by Woodman Brewery, apparently the only business located in miniscule Woodman, WI (and also its post office), this Popcorn Lager was an epic failure. In fact, due to serious concerns about the risk of great bodily harm, I couldn’t even bring myself to ingest it.
When I opened the bottle, it erupted like a 6th grade science project, spewing foam and beer across the counter and onto the floor. Once the fervor subsided, I mopped up the mess and poured the remains into tasting glasses. That’s when I noticed the chunks. While particulate and sediment are to be expected in an unfiltered, bottle conditioned beer, the substantial helping of grayish-brown globs floating in each glass seemed well beyond reasonable.
The brewmate and I speculated that the globs might be popcorn or yeast remnants, but we weren’t able to make a positive identification. In either case, they looked pretty suspicious. Then there was the smell. Reminiscent of PBR gone bad, the noxious sweet and sour aroma emanating from this beer seemed an ominous warning.
Not fit for human consumption.
I couldn’t decide whether consuming this shady substance was worth the risk, so I turned to the Internets for help. Only three search results seemed to involve living subjects, and they all included the word “horrible.” I can only suppose that any others who sampled this beer are now deceased. In the end, I decided to pitch the Popcorn Lager and hope for better luck tomorrow.
Woodman Popcorn Lager
| Style: | Lager |
|---|---|
| Availability: | Not specified. Hopefully never again. |
| ABV: | Not specified |
| Hops: | Not specified |
| Notes: | Foul-smelling and riddled with unexplained gray globs |
| More Info: | http://woodmanwi.com/brewerybeer.html |
| My Take: | Unfit for human consumption. |
